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ginny's "dealing with conflict with boys in the workplace" strategy:
start out with a thank you; ideally related to the argument at hand, but be careful not to sound sarcastic. "Thank you for bringing up , i'm glad we have a champion for this effort since leadership hasn't paid it much attention!" oh leadership, you're so silly
compliment them on the thing that is frustrating you most. "I've always been grateful for your dedicated stewardship of our shared libraries, and have aimed to emulate that in my own work". This has an added benefit too - it sometimes helps them keep emotions in check if they think your behavior is really their behavior (because you're just a silly girl emulating him).
make your request seem a huge imposition you wouldn't waste their time with except, gosh, i was so silly and messed up earlier and this will help us out of a jam. Cram compliments in here too! "Last quarter was rough and we had to make a lot of compromises to execute at the speed leadership wants. You've been so helpful in our attempts to get out of our hole ha ha!!"
never appeal to your own authority especially if you don't actually have any authority, but especially if you do.
never escalate the disagreement; if you want an escalation it has to be their idea (even if you are the one that puts it in their head). You doing it will piss off the people involved and leadership will assume it's petty emotional squabbling. basically, you can't do this for the same reason you cannot appeal to your own authority.
sign off all emails cheerfully, making sure to point out how excited you are to be working closely with them in the coming new year
