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A new experience for me is simultaneously disliking someone while respecting what she does and provides for my community.
It’s hard to keep the memory of how I was personally hurt by her disdain for me separate from how much she otherwise supports trans women. And I certainly do not always succeed.
But I see how we are treated everywhere else. I see how disposable we are in so many places. I know how hard it already is to exist as a trans woman, and don’t have my head in the sand about how much harder it will continue to get.
I will always be hurt by what happened, and won’t ignore the parts of me that hold that pain. But we are all an alloy of many things and I’m trying to recognize that better.